The Importance of Slowing Down Before Divorce

Bridget Leschinsky

20 October 2023

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Emotional turmoil often accompanies divorce, so it’s easy to rush into decisions without considering the long-term consequences. However, taking the time to slow down and gain clarity on your future can make all the difference in avoiding regret after your divorce.  We will discuss the importance of slowing down before divorce: avoiding regrets and finding clarity, with a five-step process for navigating the early stages of moving forward.

Acknowledging the Need to Slow Down:

Divorce is a major life event that involves a lot of emotions, uncertainty, and decisions that can change your life. The choice to uncouple has a significant impact on your financial situation, your children’s future, and your own future. Moving quickly through this process can result in snap judgments that you may come to regret. Take time to think over your choices, clarify your objectives, and comprehend the implications of the decisions you’re about to make. Slowing down ensures that you proceed with intention rather than haste, which will help reduce the likelihood of looking back on your divorce with regret.

Seek Unbiased Professional Help:

Consulting with a certified divorce coach is a helpful first step in the process. A certified divorce coach can offer unbiased guidance and support during the divorce process. They will assess your specific needs and provide professional referrals based on your unique circumstance. Utilizing a certified divorce coach early in the process will set you down the right path and help reduce your overall cost.

Consider Your Goals: Short Term and Long Term Goals:

What are your primary goals? Each person has unique goals and understanding what your primary goals are can help in your decision making. Some primary goals could include; personal happiness, financial security, equitable division of assets and debt, the well-being of your children, amicable with your ex. By defining your objectives will help you gain a better understanding of your motivations, while ensuring each decision is in line with your desired outcomes. This clarity not only guides your actions during the divorce process, but it also serves as a road map for the life you want to live afterward. Your goals will serve as the foundation for a more secure and satisfying future, making them an essential part of the process.

Open Communication and Open Dialogue:

The ability to engage in an open and honest discussion with your spouse about your feelings and intentions will help move you toward a more amicable and less contentious divorce. Respectful communication of your worries, hopes, and preferences can promote cooperation and understanding. It’s important to note that having direct talks isn’t always possible, particularly in circumstances involving a lot of conflict. In these situations, think about other options like mediation or counseling. Through mediation, a third party neutral can assist in creating safe environment in which both parties can have productive discussions and be guided toward a smoother transition into the next phase of your life.

Document Your Decisions:

Documenting your agreements ensures clarity for both parties and also reduces the possibility of future misunderstandings or disputes. Work closely with a mediator or attorney to draft a comprehensive divorce agreement that meticulously details every aspect of your divorce. This document should include information about property division, child custody arrangements, spousal support, child support, visitation schedules, and any other important financial issues. A well-structured agreement provides peace of mind by providing both parties with a clear path for moving forward.

In conclusion, taking the time to slow down and gain clarity on your path before filing for divorce is an invaluable investment in your future. By following these five steps, you can navigate the early stages of the process with confidence and ensure you don’t look back with regret.

Divorce is a complex and life changing journey that should not be embarked upon lightly. Slowing down, understanding your goals, seeking professional guidance, fostering open communication, and documenting your decisions will help you move through this process with intention and clarity. By doing so, you increase the likelihood of achieving the best possible outcomes for yourself and your family. Divorce is a pivotal moment in life, but with the right approach, it can also be a stepping stone to a happier and more fulfilling future.

Take advantage of a FREE 30 minute discovery session with The Bridging Coach to ask questions and get help.

Bridget Leschinsky is a CDC Certified Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach®
Photo by Kadenys-nevozhai-z0nVqfrOqWA-unsplash
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