Marriage is not always easy. Couples that deal with consistent issues can strain their relationship and they may be faced with the decision on whether to stay or go. Let’s explore the subtleties of marriage and deciding to stay or go.
The Choice to Stay
The question of commitment is among the most crucial ones people consider when determining whether to remain in a marriage. The National Library of Medicine noted a couples commitment to be one of the important predictors of marital continuity and stability. Commitment can help them to persevere through difficult times and get over obstacles together. A marriage can provide opportunity for personal development. Couples that communicate, compromise, and are resilient can strengthen and improve their relationship.
Moreover, the Institute for Family studies provided evidence of family structure and stability for children, and said “children raised by married parents are more likely to flourish compared to children raised in single-parent families.” Children from married parents usually grow up having more resources, a stable home with more time spent with their parents.
The Choice to Leave:
Remaining in a marriage may not always be the best course of action. You may ask if the connection is bringing fulfillment, respect, and love. To maintain the marriage, would you be sacrificing your own happiness and well-being? Choosing when to part ways depends heavily on this introspection.
Convincing Questions and Opinions
People may question themselves many things when determining whether to stay or go:
- Have we tried every counseling, therapy or communication development to save the marriage?
- Is there mutual respect, and consideration for each other?
- Do we have shared goals, values, or future visions?
- Are we capable of forgiving or do we carry resentment and hatred?
- Are we staying together out of genuine concern for one another or out of fear of the unknown?
It is important to think through the practical ramifications of your choice before ending a marriage, and deciding to stay or go.
You might ask yourself the following useful questions:
- Where will I live? Assess your housing options, whether they include renting or purchasing a new home, temporarily residing with friends or family, or applying for transitional housing assistance.
- How will we separate our debts and joint assets? Think about the division of assets including real estate, investments, savings, and personal items. Talk about the expenses, such credit card debt, loans, and mortgages.
- Will we be able to co-parent? If you have children, discuss with your spouse your co-parenting arrangements, including child support, custody, and decision-making duties. Make your kids’ best interests a priority when having these conversations.
- What support do I have in place? Determine who or what organizations can provide you with direction, practical help, and emotional support when you divorce. There are friends, family, support groups, certified divorce coaches, and community and religious resources.
- Practical considerations? Make plans for the practical details, like moving utilities, changing your mailing address, and notifying pertinent parties (such as banks, insurance companies, and employers) of your marital status change.
- What are my short- and long-term goals? Make both short- and long-term plans for your career and personal life. To assist direct your choices and planning, set reasonable goals for your house, money, career, schooling, and personal growth.
Your preparation for the end of your marriage and your proactive attempts to confidently and clearly negotiate the problems ahead will be enhanced if you address these practical issues and considerations.
Marriage, deciding to stay or go is ultimately a very personal and complex choice. People have to face their fears, weaknesses, and realities. What counts most is that people honor their own needs, principles, and dignity whether they choose the path of independence or reconciliation.
Take advantage of a FREE 15 minute discovery session with The Bridging Coach to ask questions and get help. https://calendly.com/thebridgingcoach/15min
