Separation and divorce is an extremely difficult time for the whole family. It can be a confusing, sad and stressful time for children. You may be wondering how you can help your children through separation or divorce process. We can get caught in the whirlwind of our own emotions and inadvertently overlook the depth of our children’s pain. It’s important to talk to your children often and be honest, sincere and strait-forward in your discussions. Depending on their ages, there are different discussion points. However here are some
Tips on How to Help Your Children Through Separation or Divorce
- Reassure them that the uncoupling is not their fault and no matter what happens, both parents will always love them.
- Realize that the other parent is still your children’s mom or dad. You are both an important part of their life. So do not talk poorly about the other, especially in front of your children.
- Spend quality time engaging with your children. They want to know that you will always love them, be there for them and care for them. This will be a very busy time in life, so if necessary set time in your calendar to carve out special quality time.
Some children can take the ending of the marriage personally and think they did something wrong to cause the two of you to separate or divorce. They may go through feelings of guilt, depression, and low self-esteem. Be mindful of how your child is doing mentally and physically. You know your child best and if they are acting different than usual. If they are showing signs of emotional distress, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Child therapists, school counselors, family counseling, church groups, peer support groups can be helpful resources during this difficult time.
Your children will always be the most beautiful part of the relationship, so honor them and yourself.
Photo Credit: Juliane Liebermann
Bridget Leschinsky is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®
