Divorce can be a devastating experience. When a friend is going through a divorce, it’s hard to watch someone you care about go through the ups and downs of divorce. Even if your friend is “happy” to move on in life, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to react to them. There is a ripple effect that happens in divorce. Just as you throw a rock in the water and it creates a ripple effect at the entry point due to the force and energy. Divorce causes a ripple effect of energy to those around the couple, it affects family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. It’s hard to know what to say or how to react because you don’t want to say or do the wrong thing.
If your friend is contemplating divorce, or in the midst of a divorce, here are some healthy and positive ways to show your support.
10 Ways to support a friend during divorce
- Listen, listen, listen
- Don’t criticize their ex, no matter how tempting
- Remind them to stop and breathe
- Respect their privacy
- Invite them out, and keep doing it even if they decline
- Deliver a meal to the house
- Realize they may go through a roller coaster of emotions
- Help them with minor house chores
- If they are moving, help them pack
- Suggest they talk to a divorce coach early on
Friends are a vital support system in the divorce process. Avoid lending bad advice, biased input, second-guessing their decisions, or encouraging bad behavior. Keeping their spirits up and helping them stay in a positive mindset will go a long way.
A Certified Divorce Coach is an important resource to your friend that can save them time and money with the divorce process. Divorce coaches can help with referrals to other divorce professionals, clarify their thoughts and help them manage emotions, address the best process for the individual, help to focus forward, hold them accountable to be their best self in the process, step through financial preparation, discuss common mistakes in divorce, help with co-parenting communication, go over parenting plan discussions, address setting boundaries, prepare children for a two-family address, and help your friend transition before, during and after divorce.
Photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez
Bridget Leschinsky is a CDC Certified Divorce Coach®
